Entertainment

The Internet –when I say Internet, I mean Twitter– was in an uproar this morning as excerpts from a “Playboy” interview with John Mayer revealed that John Mayer’s dick is a white supremacist after dropping the N-Bomb.

Let’s start with his dick of a dick. Pause.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.

First, and foremost, “a Benetton heart” says that he has love for all colors, referring to the clothing company United Colours of Benetton. That statement can kill the racist claims right now.

He then says that he’s going to start dating separately from his dick. To me, that means that he has the capability to love any color but apparently doesn’t have sex with all colors. That’s his loss! If he chooses to only sleep with women of his own race, can we fault him? Think about your last three partners. Were any of them another race? If not, guess what? You join a large majority of the world because interracial relationships aren’t as common as you think.

PLAYBOY: Let’s put some names out there. Let’s get specific.

MAYER: I always thought Holly Robinson Peete was gorgeous. Every white dude loved Hilary from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. And Kerry Washington. She’s superhot, and she’s also white-girl crazy. Kerry Washington would break your heart like a white girl. Just all of a sudden she’d be like, “Yeah, I sucked his dick. Whatever.” And you’d be like, “What? We weren’t talking about that.”

By definition, supremacist means an advocate of the supremacy of a particular group, esp. one determined by race or sex. It says nothing about hating another group of people of vaginas. If he loves his race and loves having sex with his women then be my guest. If I jumped out and said that Black vagina is the best –which it is– should white women come after me with a mob? I personally don’t think so. There’s nothing wrong with having pride in the pussy of your people.

Interestingly enough, race was examined twice during this interview as John was asked about his relationship with Black musicians.

PLAYBOY: If you didn’t know you, would you think you’re a douche bag?

MAYER: It depends on what I picked up. My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’”

My initial stance on his use of the word “nigger” was that he just used it a little too carelessly but after rereading his statement over and over I realize that he’s completely justified.

He said,”If you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass,” with “could” meaning “able to.” If you theoretically gave a white person a hood pass, and he said “nigger,” you’d probably revoke it. He’s saying in order to truly have a hood pass you would be able to call it your nigger, or maybe nigga, pass.

In a nutshell, anyone with a hood pass would be able to freely call it a nigger pass because having a hood pass gives you the “right” to freely use that word, as everyone in the hood does. He understands that he has not reached that point.

He then says that he can’t have one for that reason. He even speaks about the black experience saying he can’t directly relate to it. He also compared his attitude to the attitude of Black people. We, as a people, do not take things lying down. We are vocal and expressive about things which is what he was saying about him being “very.”

So, Black people of America. Let’s take time to think about for a second before we start a mob. I’m well-opened to discussion in the comments section.

UPDATE: John Mayer issued an apology. Well, was I right?

Re: using the ‘N word’ in an interview: I am sorry that I used the word. And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged. And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews…It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.