Beef

“”If y’all real niggas is out there with me, get on your blog and say so.” – Ray Benzino

Here’s the scenario. Let’s say I’m the best rapper in my neighborhood. Everyone knows it but someone feels that they are better. That person starts rapping about me in freestyles and songs. I respond and a battle ensues.

We exchange bars face to face or track for track. I’m on my A-game, exchanging metaphors and similes, all to show our skill and protect our reputations and manhood. Finally, the people decide who wins and we all go on with our lives.

That scenario seems to be a thing of the past. Today, people just jump out in front of anyone who’ll listen and shit-talk about their opponent until no one cares anymore. Then, once no one cares, they’ll release a mediocre diss-record that gets no play because, again, no one cares.

With technology being the all-mighty (no blasphemy), it’s quick and easy to find someone who’ll listen. Get a camera, –most commonly a MacBook’s iSight camera– talk shit about your opponent and point your finger like a gun into the camera. That lets everyone know you’re serious and gets the attention of a World Star Hip-Hop or Vlad TV.

If you’re still taken as a joke with your finger-gun, pull out the real thing. Whether you rented it, or borrowed it from a real thug, doesn’t matter. On camera, any gun you hold looks like yours. On camera, you can even make it look like you’ll use it… On camera.

Today’s beefs rarely get passed the point of thugged-out vlogs, but when they do, the result is an apology or uncomfortable track together to officially squash it. I guess tough guys don’t rap about beef. They record themselves talking about things that have nothing to do with rap.

Benzino and Royce Da 5′9’s most recent beef vlogs really hit a new low. Don’t ask me how this beef started but Benzino responded to a video put out by Crooked I, which included words for Crook’s Slaughter House comrades.

In said video, Benzino says he’s the king of Boston and SH are weirdos and blah, blah, blah. He took a break from the talk to show off a pistol with mini, rocket-looking bullets in the clip. This would definitely get a gun enthusiast excited. Hip-hop head, not so much.

Royce then responded by trumping Benzino’s ignorance when showed off a street-sweeper assault rifle and rocket launcher. A fuckin’ rocket launcher! When these two meet someone better die.

If the beef was real, would they really broadcast it over the Internets? If this was real beef, would they show the potential murder weapons on camera? So that either makes them terrible criminals or actors. Either way, it has nothing to do with rap. This shit drives me crazy.

So, to Royce, please get in the studio and off your laptop. Zino, I’m going to quote Craig Robinson as the doorman in “Knocked Up;” “Your old ass should know better than that.” Didn’t you learn anything back in ‘03 when Eminem and the Shady Records roster walked all up and down your ass (pause) on multiple diss-records?

Finally, a message to all rappers, keep beef on tracks and off your Macs. Thanks for listening.

Des